I receive repeated requests for a clear introduction to EMDR (eye-movement desensitisation and reprocessing) – what it is, who it can help, and what sessions look like. On that basis, I made the following video:
EMDR is a powerful type of therapy that was initially developed by Francine Shapiro for working with traumatic events, but which has since been found to be effective with a wide range of other mental health concerns. It can also be helpful beyond mental health, for example in coaching.
The “eye-movement” part of the name EMDR is also somewhat misleading, as we do not have to use eye-movements. We can use tapping, which can be performed either by the therapist or via self-tapping. We can use left-right sounds. We can also use more creative techniques like painting or even drumming. The main thing we are looking for is something that help us to keep one part of our attention on the event we are processing, and another in the here and now.
I hope the video is helpful. If you have any questions, do get in touch!
Grief is a universal experience, yet it affects each of us in deeply personal ways. Whether from the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or another life transition, grief can sometimes feel overwhelming and unending. While time can ease the pain, certain therapies can actively help us process grief in a healthier, more meaningful way.
Two powerful, evidence-based approaches—EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)—offer unique ways to navigate grief, heal from loss, and rebuild a life that honors both your pain and your growth.
What is EMDR, and How Can It Help with Grief?
EMDR is best known as a trauma therapy, but it is increasingly used to help people process grief and loss. Developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro, EMDR helps individuals reprocess distressing memories by using bilateral stimulation (such as guided eye movements or tapping) to reduce the emotional intensity of painful thoughts and experiences.
How EMDR Supports Grief Healing
Reduces Emotional Overwhelm: EMDR helps process and reduce the intensity of sadness, guilt, or trauma-related symptoms that can accompany grief.
Reframes Painful Memories: Instead of feeling trapped in the past, EMDR allows you to process memories in a way that feels meaningful.
Encourages Adaptive Healing: EMDR doesn’t erase grief—it helps integrate the loss into your life in a way that allows for emotional balance.
Many people who experience complicated grief (prolonged or traumatic grief) can find that EMDR helps them release some of the emotional blockages keeping them stuck.
What is ACT, and How Can It Help with Grief?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) encourages people to accept their emotions rather than suppress or avoid them. Instead of fighting against grief, ACT helps you develop psychological flexibility—allowing you to feel your emotions fully while still taking steps toward a meaningful life.
How ACT Supports Grief Healing
Encourages Emotional Acceptance: ACT teaches that pain is a natural part of life, and fighting grief often makes it worse. Instead, ACT promotes making space for your emotions.
Aligns Actions with Values: ACT helps people identify and make moves towards what truly matters—whether that’s relationships, creativity, or self-care.
Uses Mindfulness to Reduce Suffering: Through mindfulness techniques, ACT helps individuals stay present rather than getting stuck in rumination about the past or fear of the future.
By embracing grief rather than avoiding it, ACT empowers people to integrate loss into their lives in a way that fosters growth and meaning.
Which Therapy is Right for You?
EMDR and ACT offer valuable tools for grief healing, but they serve different purposes:
If you feel stuck in painful memories or trauma-related grief, EMDR may help reprocess those emotions in a way that brings relief.
If you struggle with avoidance, emotional suppression, or difficulty moving forward, ACT can help you accept your grief while building a fulfilling life.
The approaches are complementary: a combination of both can often be the most effective strategy.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Grieve Alone
Grief is not something to “get over,” but it is something you can learn to live with in a way that allows for healing and peace. Whether through EMDR, ACT, or another therapeutic approach, support is available.
If you or someone you love is struggling with grief, consider reaching out to me or another mental health professional trained in these therapies. Healing is possible, and you deserve the space to process your loss in a way that honors your experience.
💙 Have you tried EMDR or ACT for grief? Share your thoughts in the comments.
When most people think of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, they often associate it with healing past traumas. While EMDR is indeed renowned for its transformative power in processing distressing memories, its applications extend far beyond the past. One of its most innovative uses is addressing anxiety and fear about future events through techniques like the Flashforward and Future Template. These approaches empower people to break free from paralysing fear of the unknown and build confidence to face what lies ahead.
The Flashforward Technique: Facing the Worst-Case Scenario
What is it? The Flashforward Technique in EMDR is designed to tackle anticipatory anxiety by targeting imagined worst-case scenarios. This technique helps clients confront their fears about what might happen and process the intense emotional response tied to these fears.
How it works: The therapist begins by supporting the client to imagine the feared future event. This might be a catastrophic failure, a personal loss, or any overwhelming possibility causing distress. Once the worst-case scenario is visualized, the therapist uses bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping) to process the emotions and reduce the fear’s intensity.
Why it helps: By addressing the fear at its core, the Flashforward Technique desensitises the individual to the catastrophic imagery, allowing them to think about the future without the same level of dread or avoidance. Clients often report feeling a sense of calm and resilience as well as thinking differently about the future event after engaging in this process.
The Future Template: Building Confidence for What’s to Come
What is it? The Future Template prepares clients to handle future situations with confidence and ease. Rather than addressing fears directly, this technique installs a positive and adaptive response to upcoming challenges.
How it works: The therapist collaborates with the client to imagine a future event where they want to feel empowered and capable. This might be a job interview, public speaking event, a driving test, or even navigating a challenging conversation. Once the scenario is envisioned, we use bilateral stimulation to reinforce positive beliefs and emotions associated with the event. This helps the brain “rehearse” success, strengthening neural pathways that support confidence and competence.
Why it helps: The Future Template helps clients mentally prepare for upcoming situations by shifting their mindset from fear to empowerment. It replaces self-doubt with positive beliefs like “I am capable” or “I can handle this.” This shift allows clients to approach future events with a sense of readiness and self-assurance.
Who Can Benefit from These Techniques?
Both the Flashforward Technique and Future Template are effective for individuals experiencing:
Performance anxiety: Fear of public speaking, auditions, or presentations
Life transitions: Moving to a new city, starting a new job, or entering a new relationship
Anticipatory grief: Anxiety about losing a loved one or other impending challenges
Generalized anxiety: Persistent worry about the future
Combining the Past, Present, and Future in EMDR
EMDR therapy is unique in the way it addresses past, present, and future concerns. By processing past traumas, clients often find that their present triggers and future fears become less overwhelming. The Flashforward Technique and Future Template take this a step further by directly targeting how individuals perceive the future, ensuring they’re not just free from their past but also equipped to thrive moving forward.
Final Thoughts
The future is inherently uncertain, and it is natural to sometimes feel apprehensive about what’s to come. However, with the tools provided by EMDR—particularly the Flashforward Technique and Future Template—individuals can transform their relationship with the future. These techniques address anxiety, replacing it with a sense of calm, confidence, and readiness.
If you’re struggling with future-focused anxiety or want to explore how EMDR can help, consider EMDR. The journey to a brighter, more empowered future could be just a session away.
